Five days to Christmas – feeling the stress? Whether it is financial, emotional, mental. physical, or spiritual – the holidays bring with them joy and hope, along with a huge dose of angst! The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to recognize what is acting as a trigger for our stress – and this will differ from individual to individual.
One of the biggest sources of stress is the people in our lives – and the expectations they put on us. This can come from spouses or significant others, or it can come from family members. We love our families, but sometimes they can be difficult to take when dealing with them over an extended period of time.
What is the best way to deal with relationship stress? Decide what you personally will put up with, and what you will not. These are your sacred boundaries. Be willing to protect those boundaries, and then share them with the other individuals involved. If they continue to act in a stressful manner, remind them of your boundaries. If they still keep it up – walk away. Take a small time out. It may be time for you to leave, or for them to leave (depending on where the conflict is taking place – your house is your house, their house is their house). Above all – leave the past in the past. Try to avoid putting people next to each other that are going to try and start world war three. Take common sense precautions, and try and set the tone for a peaceful time.
Finances – presents, food, travel – all of this puts incredible stress on us. We do have a great deal of leeway here – things that we can do to take control of the constant flow of money going out. Start with the buying of presents – set a limit that is agreed upon by everyone in the family. Stick to that limit! Choose items that will fit within your budget, and then look for them on sale.
When it comes to food, decide what you really need for your meals. Food is nourishment, it promotes community, and at this time of year it represents both holiday and family tradition. Decide what you want to include in your menu, and what you want to let go of. Stop and think when you do this – you do not want to exclude something that is important to someone else.
Travel is stressful at this time of year because of weather and the huge amount of people traveling, much less the cost. (There can also be non-financial considerations with travel – such as agreeing on the destination with spouse, significant other, or family members.) The best thing here is to decide if and when you are going to be traveling, how you are going to be traveling (car, bus, train, or plane), and how long you are going to be staying. Then search for discounts. Sometimes we have to go “outside” of our budgets for travel – but we do this because taking the trip is preferable, for whatever reason, to not taking it.
These are just a few of the holiday stress triggers, along with a few suggestions for managing them. Remember to make yourself an important person, and do what is best for you in all situations. Hold peace in your heart, and that peace will be returned in the words and actions of others.