Hello, This is my first post of this subject ever, however I would really appreciate some advice from those who understand my situation. My mother passed away in 2011 and she was a well known psychic in my area although she never once charged for readings or for reiki healings - she never believed in profiting from a gift. She was well aware of my past experiences and would reassure me without delving in to it too much (as if she was protecting me) and she certainly wasn’t too enthusiastic despite it being something she was passionate about. I apologise in advance as I’m not entirely sure what my question is, but would really appreciate somebody who understands and is able to decipher. My “paranormal” background; I’m 32 years old and have lived in my current house for 28 years. I lived in my previous house from birth until I turned 4 and have little to no memory of the house with the exception of one experience which is what I believe was my first paranormal experience. This experience is still fresh in my mind as if it happened recently and through it I am able to see how the upstairs of my house was laid out, including my bedroom and furnishings. One night (the night of my experience) my mother placed me in my crib (my age at the time of this is unknown but I’d guess at 2 years old max) which was situated by the bedroom door which was slightly ajar with the landing light on. As I’m laying there fighting sleep, I heard a rustle followed by banging (think of a bin bag) which seemed as if something was falling from my wardrobe at the far end of the room. Being a curious child (as all kids are) I looked to see what it was and could see a man (clear as day) walking towards me from that direction. He was dressed in an overcoat and had a matching hat (a trilby/fedora style) and as he was walking slowly towards me, he had a menacing look in his eyes which were firmly fixed on me. I recall screaming in sheer terror to which my mother quickly ran up the stairs to check on me and comfort me, and as you can guess the man was gone. I don’t recall if I told my mum of the experience, but after that she would sit at the top of the stairs until I was fast asleep until we moved out. We didn’t really discuss this experience however if I did mention it she would have dismissed (as if to protect). Still to this day I have no idea who the man was. At 16 years old and being a recent school leaver (awaiting results), I was often playing computer games (sports) until the early hours of the morning before going to bed. One night I had an out of body experience and was watching myself sleep from the corner of the room, with the room being laid out exactly how it was (including an empty can of coke on my desk). The only difference being there was a cloaked/hooded figure with no features (think grim reaper without the stick) sat on the end of my bed, despite not being able to see eyes the way the hood was pointed this “thing” was fixated on me as I lay down. I frantically tried to wake up and felt paralysed (pins and needles sensation throughout my entire body) and it took me around 30 seconds to snap out of it. Since then I now know this to be deemed “sleep paralysis” and is very common. When I told my mother of this, her response was “it won’t hurt you, just ignore it and tell it to go away”. At 24 years old my mother passed away; her death come as a complete shock to me and my family although we are fairly confident that she knew herself (without being diagnosed but not mentioning it to protect us). She was hospitalised in a Friday and pronounced dead on Tuesday; despite not receiving much medication at the time as the diagnosis wasn’t clear, she didn’t wince in pain once - it turned out that she was riddled in cancer and had multiple blood clots; doctors didn’t even think about operating as there was zero chance of recovery however when she was told of the bad news, she was not surprised in the slightest and still remained positive and smiling. On the day of her death she was given full medication to assist her, she was unresponsive for most of the day (passing at 18:55). Her last rights were read and she briefly sat up in bed just to say “Amen” which were her last words. When we received her death certificate the doctors told us that the cancer was that bad they couldn’t place a primary cause of death, but instead put secondary cause of death as liver cancer. A few weeks after her passing and I was asleep, I dreamt that I walked out of the bathroom and my mother caught me by surprise as she was sat on a stool in the kitchen, wearing her gown in which she was buried in. She had no emotion in her face (not a day went by where she wasn’t smiling) and was saying the world MALT. Confused (in the dream also) I repeated “Malt?” and asked her if I have this or if she did - I didn’t get a response and woke up shortly afterwards. The first thing I did was pick up my phone and typed “MALT cancer” in to google. I had never (and never have since) heard of Malt Cancer and the search returned hundreds of results. Malt is abbreviated due to the long name however I read in to it anyhow. All of the symptoms were exactly the symptoms she was experiencing in the months before her death to which we were all oblivious to. October-November 2019; My fiancée has always been told she has a gift and there have been many occasions whereas she has had premonitions come true, but not quite on the scale of this one. It was merely a few days after we celebrated her 30th birthday, everything was going well, lots of plans laid out for the coming months etc and just out of nowhere she said “I feel as if I need to warn you”. I had no idea what she was speaking about but she confirmed “I’m getting really bad feelings that something bad is going to happen to you”. I thought she must be on the windup surely?!” She said “if it’s not you it is someone very close to us”. The following day her own father fell ill with flu like symptoms and subsequently was rushed to hospital. He was diagnosed with legionella (a form of legionnaires disease) and after an emotional rollercoaster over a period of 7 weeks, he passed away on 25th November. Her father was not religious (nor am I) and didn’t believe in anything paranormal, but there were plenty of unusual things that happened during his final weeks. He was moved in to multiple rooms and the light bulb would often flicker in the room he was in only - which also baffled the doctors “they’ve never done that before”. As the weeks went by as we are standing at his bedside he was asking for us to move out of the way. When asked “why?” he would say so he can see his sister (who passed a year earlier). Another time he was in so much pain the doctors were trying to help and he was shouting “Dad please come and help me!”. He had a fall out with his father decades ago and they never rekindled the relationship before his father passed a few years earlier. I visited my fiancées father (with her and her family) every day whilst he was in hospital and I’d take a smoke break outside on the same spot every day to collect my thoughts. In the hour before his death I went outside and then I was distracted. A few feet away from me and there were around 30 crows; as I looked at them (without moving) they all flew up in to the air and were crowing loudly whilst circling. I understand that crows are a sign of death, but please note that this is hospital is on a large complex with multiple buildings; death is a regular occurrence however the timing of this was more than coincidental and felt supernatural at the time it happened. I wouldn’t say that I am a psychic or possess a gift, however the reason I’m here is for a long time I have felt as if I am able to sense that I’m not alone. I can’t see or hear any ghosts (not that I know of) but I get strong sensations (a fast heartbeat and hearing white noise in my eyes) every 1-2 days now opposed to every few weeks/months. I’m not curious enough to want to learn how to get better at it (my mother would say that I need to train my third eye - the only advice she would give me) I would say I don’t have many fears, but when I do have these senses I completely panic and rush (for example, the family are always saying why did you run down the stairs like that? I’d always make an excuse that I’d tripped but would never tell them). Whatever it is I’m afraid of seems to be related to my first experience when I was defenceless; I joking tell people that I’m not really a believer but it a ghost tried to scare me then I’d aggressively tell it I’ll come for it when my time is up. I would hugely appreciate it if anybody is able to link any of the above and explain it to me. If anybody is able to identify who I (or family) are through any of the above I’d appreciate confidentiality. Thank you for taking the time to read and a big thanks to those who try to help