Could be that we feel like rebelling when we lack the sense of achievement, or being rewarded, while we strive to do the right thing.. In my teenage years I felt like screaming: why don't my parents love me when I'm such a good girl, the best girl in school/town/...?!! I stayed "good" on the outside, but secretly felt like retaliating in the future. (When I was hospitalized in my mid-twenties, and saw my parent crying, I said, There you go!! I made you cry!! ...and when years later an older friend was anxious for my health test results, I wished I had the worst disease just to shatter her hopes for me..!! Don't worry, you're much better than me, for sure! Now I am healthy and strong, surrounded by incredibly loving, supportive people now, and have made peace with my parents as well.) To be good to ourselves, we need to acknowledge that it's truly worth it, and necessary. I'm preaching myself while I write this. To believe that life is essentially good, recognize that we are obligated to see that and thank G-d for everything we are given, trusting that making the right choices benefits us -- eternally -- even if we don't obtain tangible results right away. For depression, I believe a sense of achievement will help. You can try something not too hard that makes you feel like you're doing something meaningful. Idk, like being a part-time teacher for kindergarten kids? Helping animals? Doing creative work? I'm also dwelling on things and getting stuck emotionally. But I know I will be okay, as soon as I get to work to get some things done. We can both move on! I pray for your eternal happiness..
3/29/2013 10:36:37 AM