Ask Jeanmarie: Overcome the Holiday Blues

Jeanmarie (Witchster)
3 December 2009

Dear Jeanmarie,
This is the first Christmas that I will be spending alone and I am scared. My husband passed away this past year and for the first time both my sons will be out of the country. I’ve decided not to decorate since no one will be home to enjoy it, but on the other hand I’ve always decorated my home and Christmas was always celebrated at my house. I have so many questions swirling around in my head. I am so confused….Help!!!
Empty and Confused.


"First, I am so sorry for your loss. Holidays can be "Hollow Days" after the loss of loved ones. Especially the first Holidays without them.

You absolutely should decorate, as much or as little as you like. Decorate for you! Proceed with your rituals and traditions in the days leading up to Christmas. Do it for yourself! Will you be home to enjoy it?

What are the chances of someone inviting you to spend Christmas with them, for dinner or a few days? Maybe you can be a "Lady of Leisure" this year, or, if it better suits you, invite others to spend Christmas with you, or have a Christmas Party.

See this as a time of new Freedom and Creativity with infinite possibilities. Ask your self, "What do I want?"
A friend of mine, a widow for many years now, with children who live out of state, has spent many a Christmas alone. When her family cannot visit, she spends Christmas Day listening to her favorite classical music and enjoys reading books about Popes, Saints and Angels. In the days leading up to Christmas she decorates for herself, bakes a loaf of her favorite bread and a batch of her favorite cookies. Every day she will cook a smaller portion of one of her favorite Christmas dishes. Her advice would be, when you find yourself alone at Christmas, make yourself happy!

Many practicing Yogi's spend Christmas Day meditating, chanting, singing, listening to chants, reading words of wisdom. I tried this one year when I spent Christmas alone and experienced the most profound peace that lingered for several days. Some Great Yogi Masters meditate for 8 or 10 hours on Christmas Day. Not I! I will leave that to the Great Masters!

Solitude is not the same as loneliness. If you cannot enjoy solitude and need to be around people, you may want to get involved in community projects like toys for tots or distributing food baskets and gifts to those in need.

Perhaps you can skype with your loved ones. My cousin is separated from her grandchildren since her daughter moved away. On Thanksgiving Day they ate their pumpkin pie together via computer cam. At Christmas they can open their gifts together even though several hundred miles apart.

You may consider taking a cruise to some exotic place, or spend the day visiting others who may be alone.
Cultivate peace and joy. Encourage and empower yourself with wise, positive, friendly thoughts. Keep Traditions, or create new ones. Make yourself happy. Be a little selfish this year. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Don't do what you think you should do or feel you have to do. Even if just for one day, do what you want to do. Ask yourself, "What do I want?"...and have yourself a Merry Little Christmas...or a Merry Big Christmas. Do it for yourself, your husband and your sons. They don't want you to be distraught. Choose to be happy and enjoy your life. I know you can do it. Celebrate!

Namaste and Blessed Be,
Jeanmarie

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